Say AHHHHHHH!!

No one likes the dentist. Regrettably, thanks to genetics and bizarre bodily chemistry, even if I brush 8 times a day and floss nightly, if I don't get regular cleanings I'll have dentures by the time I'm 30.

And, even though I've been getting cleanings, I had two cavities. Grr! BTW, insurance doesn't cover porcelain fillings, and how did I not know this? $300, down the drain.

So I go in today, and the dental assistant first of all doesn't suck up all the saliva in my mouth so I get the uncontrollable urge to swallow, hitting the dentists' hand and sending a drill on my tongue. Great start.

Then it turns out this is a mega cavity, and she drills and drills and drills away, and keeps injecting me with anesthesia, enough to knock out a pony. This whole time I'm actually anxious, even though the act of flossing is often more painful than a typical cavity filling. Plus, I almost convinced myself that one can die from cavity anesthesia, until my more rational mind noted that if that were the case, the average human life span would be 15.5 years.

Finally the dentist finishes and says, "Well, I don't have time to do the second one. You'll have to come back."

Well, I don't have time to rearrange my entire schedule because YOU'RE too busy drilling people's tongues!

Now the anesthesia is wearing off and my tooth hurts, but it could be worse -- I could have TWO cavities healing.

Maybe I should get them all pulled out and wear dentures??